A searing portrait of a mother’s grief and strength in the wake of unthinkable tragedy.

Once upon a time, I was meandering down the road of life with my husband, Jon. It was a regular and beige life, and it worked. It was a warm beige. We felt, and were, blessed and lucky. Normal.

On the morning of October 7th, 2023, Rachel Goldberg-Polin’s beloved twenty-three-year-old son, Hersh, was stolen from a music festival billed as a celebration of unity and love—and, in that moment, her life was forever separated into The Before and The After. Over the next eleven months, she and her husband, Jon, would work tirelessly—in public and behind the scenes—to secure the hostages’ release, to breathe some humanity into the situation while they were experiencing relentless emotional and psychological torment. The power of her raw and fervent pleas soon made her the face of the hostage crisis. And when Hersh and five other captives were executed after surviving 328 days of violence and cruelty, she would also become the face of its ultimate cost. 

From The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Dorit Kemsley comes a candid memoir in which she reveals the unscripted moments that shaped who she is today.

Dorit Kemsley has spent years cultivating a persona that exudes elegance, ambition, and confidence. But behind the designer labels and otherwise picture-perfect image lies a story of resilience, transformation, and self-discovery. Now, for the first time, she’s telling this story in full.

Before the cameras started rolling, Dorit was raised in a Jewish home in Connecticut, shaped by her family’s international roots. But her early interest in fashion soon took her around the world for school and work, which later brought her back to New York City to launch her own global resort-wear line. Along the way, a charming Brit―the man she once thought was the love of her life―swept her off her feet . . .

With the effortless charm of a best friend, Dorit reminisces on her early seasons as a Real Housewife, navigating new motherhood in the spotlight. She reveals the true stories behind #PantyGate and #PuppyGate and the ups and downs of her friendships with cast members across nearly a decade on the show. She delves into the fears and traumas she has long kept private, including the dissolution of her marriage to Paul “PK” Kemsley, the terrifying home invasion that shattered her sense of security, and the pressure of living under constant public scrutiny.

With candor, humor, and the kind of perspective earned only by a woman who has lived as a wife and mother onscreen for nine seasons and counting, Dorit recounts the lessons she’s learned, the mistakes she’s made, and the strength she’s discovered in starting over.